The Green Beast of Hogwarts
by RokuHino
Summary: We all know what Harry would be like if he was raised by the Uchiha's...or Kakashi...or Naruto...or even Sakura. But what if he'd been raised by the Spandex Beast himself? Maito Gai. Drabbles
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I do not own either Harry Potter or Naruto. I just take them out to play._

Dumbledore had never seen anything quite like it. Snape was washing his eyes out with a scouring pad. Trewlney, it seemed, had gone into apocolyptic shock. The backdrop of a sunset on a beach, with waves crashing up against the shore was beautiful to behold, and yet the two people embracing infront of this lovely scene had made most of the student population of Hogwarts run screaming out the doors.

"Father!"

"Son!"

"Father!"

"Son!"

Literal streams of tears poured down the faces of the green and orange clad family, and as the older man pushed his younger clone away, the students that were left looked on in horrid fascination.

"Now, Hari," Maito Gai, Green Beast of Konoha and Tajutsu Master extraordinare, looked down at the first pride and joy of his life.

"You must take your Youthful Flame and spread it amoungst your new teammates! I expect you to keep up your training everyday! 100 laps around this Hog Warts on your hands every morning and 300 push ups and sit ups! If you cannot do it in under half an hour, you must do 1000 punches and kicks!"

Maito Hari, known more commenly in Hogwarts by the name of Harry Potter, saluted, his shiney, bowl-cut hair gleaming, white teething _pinging_ and bushy eyebrows standing to attention.

"Yes, Gai-sensei!"

Gai's lip began quivering again.

"My son!"

"Father!"

"Son!"

Hari looked up at the man who had raised him, the man he aspired to be like, and indeed looked like, except for his green eyes.

"I will not fail you or Lee-nii san!"

Saluting to each other, the backdrop of a sunset on the beach vanished, leaving a Gai shaped hole in the wall as the man leapt out into the grounds of Hogwarts shouting, "DYNAMIC ENTRY!"

_A/n: This is just something my mind came up with in the dark hours of insomina. I'm not sure whether to turn this into an actual story or just leave it as a series of disjointed chapters. Thoughts, comments?_


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Ok, first, to everyone who reviewed: THANK YOU! You guys made my day! And seriously, I never expected that this would get a response like that. And taking into consideration all that you've said, I am going to turn this into a full length fic, complete with baby harry and his years at Konoha. That being said, I've decided to leave this up as a sort of stress-relief from the full-length one and just make it a series of short snippets of life in the day of Maito Hari. Right, that's enough from me, on with the show! XD_

The silence in Konoha was beautiful. The green beasts had yet to cause havoc and Tsunade, the Fifth Hokage of Konoha was nursing a large hangover from the night before. Getting into drinking games with Anbu- and ex-ANBU was a baaaaad idea. The door slammed open.

"HOKAGE-SAMA! WE'VE BEEN INVADED!"

Bodily turning the Hokage around to look out her window, the aide fainted dead away. Tsunade, one of the three legendary Sannin, healer extraordinare, and one of the best shinobi in the world, let out a whimper. A sea of green was cresting over the Hokage monument.

"YOUTH!"

"YOUTH!"

"SPIRIT!"

"SPIRIT!"

* * *

Kakashi looked down at the Hokage's thrashing body curiously.

"Ah, my eternal rival!" The Green Beast of Konoha had arrived, bringing with him a medical squad.

"...Yo."

As Gai turned to a corner of the room, tears streaming down his face as whimper's of 'so hip...so cool' left his lips, Kakashi snapped his book shut and gave Tsunade-sama a poke.

"I think she's having a-"

"No! I refuse to let Maito Hari go to that school! The damage...the brain-washing...WE'RE GOING TO HAVE AN INVASION OF GREEN BEASTS!"

Clutching Kakashi, Tsunade whispered, "Entire school. One thousand students...and Hari. In green spandex..."

Kakashi, for the first time in his life, felt a shiver of terror.

* * *

On the other side of the world, Hari looked around curiously. He could swear... shrugging, he returned to what he was painstakingly doing. Changing all the robes in Severus Snape's wardrobe into green jumpsuits. The Flames of Youth would not be going out of his Poison's Professor anytime soon.


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: All right! Chapter one of the full length fic is up. you can find it in my profile under - Tales of a Beast: Year One. Enjoy!_

It would not be a lie to say that the entire population of Hogwarts was staring at the Head table. Dumbledore's eyes were twinkling like mad. Hari looked on in smug joy.

"Where is he? I'm going to AK him!" the normally quite voice of one Severus Snape thundered thoughout the Great Hall as said man burst though the doors, his pale face red with rage. It made a strange contrast with his green jumpsuit and shiny new bowl-cut hair. Dumbledore stood up, his glittering spandex shining in the sunlight coming from the roof.

"Now Severus," he chortled.

"Don't you 'now Severus' me!"

Hari grinned, blinding several nearby Slytherin's with his walking toothpaste advertisment of teeth.

"Yosh! The Flames of Youth burn stongly in all our teacher's today!"

Surprizingly, this statement did not come from the bane of Snape's exsistance. Two red head twins, hair freshly cut and green suits pressed, proclaimed loudly and proudly from their table.

* * *

In Konoha, Tsunade mumbled and rolled over in her sleep. Kakashi felt an ominous presence in the air


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N- Yosh! First, THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR AWESOME REVIEWS! Second, as I have work and study and etc, I'll be updating about once a week on all my stories. Happy Reading!_

Kakashi, the Copy Ninja, was seriously contemplating throwing himself off a cliff. Somewhere dark and dangerous, with enemy ninga launching shuriken at him. Hopefully somewhere the chance of survival was in the negatives. Unfortunatly, he was unable to do so, so he decided in favour of looking around the corner of his book at the green horror that was in front of him.

"Gai..."

Said man beamed, blinding civilians who had been innocently going about their day to day lives.

"Is he not the epitomy of YOUTH?"

Kakashi stared doubtfully at the little child as his large green eyes looked up at the silver haired man from behind Gai's orange clad leg.

"Sure, sure..."

The Green Beast of Konoha pouted at the 'hip and cool' expressionism's of his eternal rival.

"Kakashi! I have come to you with a most Youthful request!"

"I'm not doing it."

"Our esteemed Hokage has seen fit to grant this to me as a mission, for you!"

Mumble.

"Damn you, old man..."

Beaming, Gai deposited Hari into Kakashi's care.

* * *

"Ah! My Youthful son!"

"Dad, what's hentai?."

From that day forward, Kakashi never read his little orange book in front of Hari. Ever.


	5. Chapter 5

"596, 597, 598..."

Hermione Granger, all round know all of everything, stared in fascination at the green eyed hero of the wizarding (and witching) world. She turned to the boy slumped next to her.

"He can't be serious?"

Ron Weasley nodded glumly, vainly trying to ignore the boy doing push ups on a set of arm chairs, toes balancing on the top of one and fingertips balancing on another.

"He started with sit ups on the roof."

"612, 613, 614..."

The bookworm of Hogwarts peered up at the boy.

"Hari...what are you doing?"

"623, 624...I'm training! Yosh!.. 627, 628..."


	6. Chapter 6

Life, as they knew it, was coming to an end. It was fire and doom, hell-demons and monsters striaght from babies nightmares. Hari Maito was not in his spandex. He wasn't even in green. He had exchanged it all for some all black ensemble that showed off the muscular body that seemed more befitting of some elite quidditch player than on an eleven year old boy child.

"Ron. 'Mione."

"You're late!" the bushy-haired girl hissed.

Hari shrugged and smiled lazily. The world stopped turning. Draco Malfoy, in the process of insulting the boy-wonder, froze in his tracks as Hari grabbed some toast and sauntered out of the Hall.

"Nice arse there, Malfoy." Hari drawled, pinching said arse.

"WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MAITO?"

Turning the corner, Hari burst into silent laughter. Channeling Kakashi-oji was turnnig out better than expected.


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: So. Long time, no see. I won't bore you with why I haven't posted in ah…eight or so months, but there was a black cat and a flood and cyclone and bush fire, and I had to save this little old lady… Yeah. Happy Reading._

Hari Maito was loud and loud and completely insane; not to mention a tad terrifying when he got into a highly emotional state, which was more often than anyone cared to appreciate. One time being hugged with the full force of a Maito's strength was one too many times, thank you very much. So when the students of Hogwarts was confronted with a depressed Hari, several – including one Severus Snape- celebrated. The rest wondered what horrible thing had happened to make him like this.

"Um… Hari?" Hermione asked gently, shaking the almost comatose boy's shoulder. "What's wrong?"

Hari looked up at her with tear filled eyes. "I am sorry!" He howled, grabbing her around the waist. "I failed to beat Goyle's father under a minute! For this I shall do three hundred chin-ups from the Great Hall's roof, with you on my back!"

"Ah, Hari, you really don't have to do that!"

Running up the side of the Great Hall in order to do just that, the rest of the students turned as one to stare at the boy on the Slytherin table. Ron frowned, then whipped around to stare at the boy who was yelling out numbers from the roof, as teachers attempted to get both him and the know-it-all down. Could he possibly mean… the troll?

* * *

"DYNAMIC ENTRY!"

Rubble rained in potions class. Hari grinned at his classmates, most of whom were slowly shuffling away from him. Pulling those closest to his chest, he shouted "We shall do our very best or I shall run around Hogwarts forty times bouncing on my head!" Unfortunately for Draco Malfoy and Ron Weasley, Hari's grip was very strong. . To say that Professor Snape was furious at the human-shaped hole in his potion's lab would an understatement.

* * *

There was a horrible silence. There was a horrible noise. There was a horrible silence. Hari continued to run on the spot, grinning madly. One brave student raised a quivering hand, voicing the thought that the rest of the school had running through their minds.

"Ah…Professor Dumbledore? Where are our clothes?"

Being naked in the middle of the Forbidden Forest was not the most pleasant thing in the world, after all.

* * *

Hari frowned. He scratched his head and frowned some more. For all his enthusiasm, Hari just could not figure out the problem of what that giant dog was hiding underneath it' trapdoor. Eyebrows standing to attention, Hari jumped into the air, punching a fist. "Yosh!"

Voldemort, bane of the wizarding world, scrooge of all that was good and winner of the most evil guy ever award, was having a quite breather in the private suit of his current host.

"Dynamic Entry!"

Hari had never seen someone with two faces before. Unfortunately, no else did either as Professor Snape stormed into the room, waving around a vial of whatever potion he'd been concocting at the time. Acid and faces really did not agree with one another, even if you did happen to have two of them.


End file.
